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In Today’s issue:
🔍 Quick overview of pornography
📝 Porn Literacy 101
➡️ What is Ethical Porn?
🎯 8 Key Principals of Ethical Porn
📚 My favourite Ethical Porn sites
😍 How to have a Porn Discussion with your Partner
Quick overview of pornography.
Throughout history, pornography has played a significant role in human culture, with depictions of sexual activity dating back to ancient civilizations. The portrayal of sexual content continues to evolve alongside societal norms and technological advancements. While pornography has often been subject to censorship and morality police, it has also served a crucial role in documenting human sexuality and desire.
🔍 Have you ever stopped to think that there would be no humans if we didn’t enjoy sex? How wild this is!
Despite sex and depictions of sex being an ancient practice, pornography still remains a subject of controversy and stigma.
While pornography can be displayed using a wide range of media, including videos, images, erotic books, magazines, audio, and live streams, this article continues to discuss the most accessible type of pornography today: Free Online Pornography.
For many of us, the first exposure to sex was through free online pornography. While this type of porn is easily accessible and entertaining, most free online porn leaves people with unrealistic expectations of what respectful sexual relationships between two or more people look like.
Porn Literacy 101.
Media literacy skill is a crucial component of porn literacy. Media literacy involves recognizing and challenging common stereotypes perpetuated in media, in this case pornographic media.
🎯 Porn Literacy skills focus on the ability to evaluate pornographic material in terms of how gender roles, race, body image and size, and sexual practices are depicted. Developing a critical mind around the hidden messages in free online porn helps us build awareness on how these aspects may influence our perceptions of sexuality and intimate relationships.
Developing Porn Literacy
📝 Homework: Now, let’s get critical! Next time you open your incognito browser to watch some free online porn, use your critical thinking mind and reflect on the following questions:
How does the porn that I choose to watch impact my perception of human bodies?
Does the porn that I choose to watch portray transparent communication such as asking for consent (is it okay if I…?), boundaries (even though we had [type of sexual activity] before, today this act is off limits), safewords?
Is the woman always portrayed as submissive in the (heterosexual) porn that I choose to watch?
Are there safe sexual practises (example: a visible condom) in the porn I choose to watch?
Are you able to differentiate performers who are forced to do their job from performers who are genuinely enjoying sex on camera?
What are the things that are edited out from the final cut? Such as bathroom brakes, bloopers, loss of erection, awkward position changes etc.
Is the porn that I choose to watch made and shared consensually?
Does the porn I choose to watch match my personal values and beliefs?
These are some questions that will help you decode the messages hidden in porn.
🎯 Key takeaway: Porn literacy is a skill that helps you distinguish misogynist, racist, exploitative porn from ethical porn and helps you develop a better understanding of what healthy horny sexual relationships look like.
More questions to reflect on:
When were you first exposed to free online porn?
What is the main reason you watch porn? (Entertainment, boredom, pleasure boost, habit…)
Have you had a discussion about porn with your partner? Why or why not?
What are the 5 keywords that describe the porn you would ideally like to watch?
What is ethical porn?
Ethical porn refers to adult entertainment that prioritizes the well-being, safety, and rights of all individuals involved, including performers, producers, and consumers. Ethical porn is feminist, diverse, inclusive, queer and consensual.
How to recognise ethical porn?
Ethical porn sites are typically pay-per-video or subscription based, to ensure fair pay to performers and producers. However not all porn sites that have a paywall are ethical, that’s why it’s so important to do your research and use porn literacy skills to understand if what you’re paying for actually goes to ethical production.
🎯 Key Takeaway: if you’re watching free online porn, it most likely isn’t ethical.
It’s important to do your research when you’re looking for a porn site to subscribe to. Here are 8 things to look for when trying to make sure if a adult content site really is ethical.
Key principles of ethical porn include:
1️⃣ Consent: All performers involved in ethical porn productions have enthusiastically consented to participate and are treated with respect throughout the filming process.
2️⃣ Fair labor practices: Ethical porn producers ensure that performers are paid fairly for their work and have access to safe working conditions and support.
3️⃣ Diversity and representation: Ethical porn embraces diversity in terms of body types, sexual orientations, gender identities, and sexual practices, challenging traditional beauty standards and stereotypes.
4️⃣ Authenticity and pleasure: Ethical porn shows genuine communication, pleasure and fantasies instead of exaggerated performances, which makes ethical porn more realistic and artistic. The production also includes a discussion on boundaries, needs and preferences of everyone involved.
5️⃣ Transparency: Ethical porn producers are transparent about their production processes, including the contracts and rights of performers, the source of funding, and the place and duration of distributing the material.
6️⃣ Health and safety: Ethical porn keeps performers safe with regular health check-ups, STI screenings, and a commitment to safeguard their mental and physical well-being.
7️⃣ Experts: Performers in ethical porn production have access to various services, such as sex counselling and education, to ensure the wellbeing of everyone involved and help them take good care of their mental and sexual health.
8️⃣ After Production: Ethical porn adheres to the industry standards and ensures that the film is not being used for anything that wasn’t agreed upon beforehand. Ethical producers often include a debriefing session at the end of shooting where performers can discuss their experience, concerns and feedback.
Just like choosing fair-trade coffee or eco-friendly fashion, supporting ethical porn producers is all about making conscious choices that align with your values.
My favourite 4 ethical porn sites:
XConfessions by Erika Lust
💡 Question: What are your favourite ethical porn sites? Leave a comment and let me know!
Having the Porn Discussion with your partner.
Ready to have a discussion about porn consumption with your partner? Here are some points to cover:
Moral Views: What are your moral views on pornography? Do you believe there are categories or types of porn that are immoral or unethical? What does your relationship with porn look like? How do you feel when you watch porn? Have you ever felt shame or disgust after watching porn or certain type of porn?
Is Porn Cheating? Which type of porn (videos, images, live-streaming, camming, onlyfans etc) are you okay/not okay with? Do you consider any of the various ways to consume pornography as cheating? Why or why not?
Frequency: How often do you typically watch porn? Are you comfortable letting me know if you need space to masturbate? Is there a frequency that you feel is too much? Have you ever felt that the frequency of consuming porn was becoming a problem for you?
Preferences: What types of porn do you enjoy watching? Are there specific genres, performers, or scenarios that you prefer?
Watching Together: Would you be open to watching porn together as a couple? If so, what kind of content would you be comfortable watching together?
Boundaries: Are there any boundaries or limits you'd like to establish around pornography in our relationship?
Effects on Relationship: How do you think watching porn might affect our relationship? Are there any expectations or fears you have about its impact?
Communication: How do you feel about discussing porn openly and honestly? Are there any topics related to porn that you find difficult to talk to me about?
Fantasies: Are there any fantasies or desires that you've seen in porn that you'd like to explore together in real life?
(Extra spicy 🌶️🌶️🌶️) Porn Movie Nights: Would you be interested in having ‘porn movie nights’ where we watch porn together?
When you're ready, here's how I can help:
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